Is that really necessary?

I'm not quite sure how to start this post.  I'm sure I'll step on some toes, and I apologize in advance if I offend anyone- it's not my intent to be offensive, but I have a rant to get off my chest.

 

There's a local blogger that I follow.  She's a real estate agent and posts things about the city where I live.  Things like featured neighborhoods (which include different houses that are listed in those 'hoods), sales reports, polls and even cool houses that we could never afford.  She also posts a weekly foreclosure watch.  She usually features a least expensive, a most expensive, then picks one from each directional region (N, S, E, W).  I look at the expensive ones and the ones in our region, usually.

 

Most of the time, the pricier houses seem to be in fair shape.  At least they still have their kitchens.

 

But today, I looked at a house that was listed as-is for $250K.

 

It was missing pretty much everything but the walls, windows and roof.  Not only were the appliances gone, but the kitchen cabinets were gone.  The bathrooms had no toilets or sinks.  The carpet was ripped up out of the bedrooms.  Ceiling fans and light fixtures were missing; the dining room was missing the wainscoting.   The crown molding and the base molding were gone.  It was missing the central heat and air system.  And the door and window frames, too.

 

The door and window frames, too???  Seriously, people?

 

I know we're in a recession.  I have dear friends whose husbands have been laid off.  I know stay-at-home moms that have gone back to work.  Our church has started putting together a new networking group of people to help those who have lost their jobs.  I get it.  I can't imagine the anger and frustration and worry that comes along with not having income or knowing that you are being kicked out of your home.  I'm thankful every day for what we have and pray for those who are going through this.

 

But destroying a house because you're pissed off is just vandalism.  I understand that sometimes, in a foreclosure, things will need to be done like new carpet or painting.  Probably the appliances would need replacing and I don't know what else.  But to completely remove things like door frames and molding?  The TOILETS?  I mean, what can you possibly get if you're trying to sell these things?  What's the going rate for used wainscoting?  Don't they understand that by stripping the house means it won't sell for what it was worth and they'd still owe the bank that money?

 

Sure, you might be able to get a few hundred dollars selling custom cabinets (assuming they were custom to begin with) or granite counters so I could take a step back and see selling off the kitchen cabinets to try and pay down some debt.  I could even understand selling bathroom vanities.  But the molding?  The door frames?  Used carpet?  The HVAC System?

 

I know that I should be a little more understanding - I know shit happens and life deals blows you can't see coming.  But if you're in debt up to your eyeballs (like the commercial with the guy driving around on a riding lawnmower) then you have to know that something just might come along and yank the rug out from under you.  You shouldn't take it out on the house that you thought would be your "forever home," that you bought banking on moving up and getting that promotion but knowing that you'd be house-poor until that promotion came through.

 

Now, before you people starting blasting the nasty comments to me, understand that I know nothing about that house other than it's on a foreclosure list and that it's missing a whole bunch of stuff.  I know nothing about the family or their background.  I have no idea why they had to foreclose on their house.  I do remember reading a post several months ago on craigslist of someone selling "anything that isn't bolted down in their house" because they couldn't afford the mortgage on their house and they were pissed off at the bank for not cutting them some slack.  So they were going to trash the house so the bank wouldn't get their money out of selling the house.

 

There really are people like that out there.  And it pisses me off.  I listen to Dave Ramsey and the stories people call in with are tragic.  Being hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and desperate to find help.  But I don't remember hearing anyone talking about how they stripped down a perfectly good house because they were pissed off at the world.

 

What it looks like to me is a couple of grown-ups having a two-year-old temper tantrum, without accepting any of the responsibility of their actions (whether they were in control of their situation or it was something that just happened to them) and showing lack of respect.  Respect is a big thing with me; respect of people, of property, of self.  That's one thing I always try and stress to my kids (among lots of other things). 

 

It's the disrespect these people showed that got this rant going.  If I offended you, I'm sorry.  If you are in a position where you might be losing your job or your home, I'm deeply sorry and I hope and pray for a better outcome for you and yours.  I hope you can take a step back and see my underlying point:  that no matter what happens in life, you should still be respectful.  It gives a person dignity and will get them respect in return.

 

  

Oh, bring it ON!

photo by Stephen Cummings 

 

  Girl Scout cookie sales start tonight at midnight.

 

This is my first year involved with the Girl Scouts - I'm a cookie sales virgin!  Ok, that just sounded wrong on so many levels, I should delete that.  Here's the deal.  This is like no other fund raiser I've ever done.  We had our troop meeting this week and everything was explained to us about how this would all go down.

 

Do not sell cookies before 12:01 am, January 16th.  Do not sell cookies BEFORE 12:01 am on January 16th.  Do NOT sell cookies before midnight on Thursday night.  Yes, this really was emphasized several times.  I'm thinking to myself - how would they know?  And another mom asked the question before I did.  This started the ball rolling of stories from bygone days of selling cookies.

 

Apparently this is a major competition.  And I don't mean between the girls.  Some of the stories floating around were, first-off, always from someone else's troop.  So-and-so would see someone selling cookies before the start date and would ask, oh-so-innocently, "oh, what troop are you in?" and then go report that troop for selling cookies early.

 

At another troop, one person trumped another's "regular sales" of 500 boxes at a particular business, again before the official start date.  (During all this, I'm visualizing times from childhood of moms bumrushing stores to buy Cabbage Patch dolls, only they're waving Girl Scout order forms instead.)  The girls get penalized for early sales, by the way.

 

Really?  This really happens?  I'm all up for a bit of healthy competition, but this is ridiculous.

 

Then she passes out a form for us to sign and they want my SS# or DL#.  Huh?  This is for the purpose of their Collections department for money that is owed them.  HUH???  People are skipping out on what they order?  Taking the cookies and running and I'm held responsible for it??  Who are these people?!?

   

Then she goes over the delivery dates.  Again, it is emphasized DO NOT deliver the cookies before February 27th (even though we'll be getting our cookies on the 24th, or somewhere around then).  I think we moms were all too stunned to react by this point because I don't remember any horror delivery stories being passed around.  From other troops, of course.

 

Now, I like Girl Scout cookies.  The thin mints are the bomb, especially when they're cold, but I will NOT be held responsible for someone else's bad financial decisions.  So if I come to you (or better yet, my sweet little Monkey with those big puppy dog eyes comes to you) and ask oh-so-sweetly "would you like to order some Girl Scout cookies?" know that we won't ask before midnight tonight, they for sure won't be delivered to you until February 27th (even though they'll be taking up space in my house for a few days beforehand) and when they are delivered, you better pay for what you ordered with cash, a money order or a check made out to me (which I will promptly go cash).  

 

But you better buy a lot of cookies.  Monkey wants to win an ipod.

 

 

Depression stole $10

I'm not an organized person at home.  Back in the day, when I used to work full time, I would be very organized at work, but it's like I would leave it there when I clocked out.  When Depression moved in, he made it worse.  I coined a phrase (although it probably isn't original).  He turned me into a Functioning Depressive (is that even a word??).  Outside my front door, everything was "normal."  I'm doing all the stuff I normally do, usually with a smile on my face.  I even managed to go to Kohl's on Friday and buy two new sweaters (they were 1/2 price - love a sale!).

 

But Depression would sneak in if a friend asked "how's it going?" and I'd fall apart.  Quietly, though, hiding behind my sunglasses.

  

But you should see the inside of the house.  OK, maybe I don't need to go on "Clean Sweep" or Oprah's messiest house shows, but really?  It's a mess.

 

Mail, for example.  We keep mail in a basket on the steps, just inside the front door.  The last few weeks, I haven't really gone through it, except to pull out the bills.  As of Sunday morning I had Three. Steps. Full.  Of mail.  Crazy, right?  Magazines, catalogs, ads, junk mail, you name it.  It was there.  So, Sunday morning I had had enough.  I sat down and started going through the stacks.

  

There is was.  

 

From Kohl's, a $10 gift card to use on anything.  Something they had sent in the mail a couple weeks back.  I vaguely remembered at the time thinking "Cool!  I can always find something at Kohl's."  Did I remember on Friday that I had it?  No.  Depression wanted it for himself.  Could I use it for something else?  No.  It expired on Saturday.

 

Stupid Depression.  Now he's stealing money, too.  I bet he and High Blood Pressure went on a shopping spree.

  

a new series

photo by mK B.

 

  I'm starting a new series with my blog.  It won't be on a particular day, since I'm too disorganized to even maintain something like Wednesday in Review or Frugal Friday, they'll just pop up every now and then, sneaking up on you when you least expect it.  Kinda like when you're reaching for your drink, expecting sweet tea (yes, we pre-sweeten our tea down here, y'all) and drinking Dr. Pepper instead.  It makes your mind and your mouth come to a screeching halt and wonder - what the hell?

 

So, back to my series...  I'm calling it Random Rants and it'll coincide with Random Musings, which I've sorta started, I just haven't gone back and edited some labels for those yet.

 

Yesterday, I took the kids out to a local park.  I love where we live, we have a great park system in place and on any given day, I have about 4 parks within about an 8 mile radius that I can take the kids to.  Love that.  Apparently, so do a lot of other people because it was really crowded.  I'm guessing that since it's fall and days are getting colder, on the days that it is nice, crowded parks are a given.  That's fine by me because it gives the kids a lot of other kids to play with and I always end up running into someone I know.

 

The thing that gets me, though, is the apathy of some moms.  I'm not quite sure why, but they just seem to have lost that caring feeling when it comes to what their children are doing.  I saw a group of young boys, all about 4-6 years old, playing with Star Wars light sabers.  Sure, that's not so bad.  Kinda funny actually.  But then they started beating on a small tree.  Now, I know that I get teased for being a tree-hugger sometimes, but what was bothering me more about this is that there were younger children, about 2 years old and including Little Man, that were playing not far away and the older boys were trying to knock down branches.  One little boy kept walking under the same tree and even though his mom kept telling him not to, that he might get hit, the moms of the other boys never told them to stop or move elsewhere.

 

Then one boy climbed the tree and started breaking limbs off for the boys to use for fighting.

 

I wanted so bad to say something, but I didn't.  I'm not sure why I didn't.  I mean, I know boys will be boys, but sometimes, that's just an excuse for bad behavior.  There's a difference between playing rough and being disrespectful.  What I saw was the boys being disrespectful to another's property and risking injury to another child.  The tree wasn't theirs, the park wasn't their yard, yet they saw fit to tear up a tree for their own five minutes of fun and they didn't seem to notice or care that there were younger children around that could get hurt.  The mom of the boy climbing the tree told him, passively, I might add, to stop and get down, but he didn't really listen.  Oh, he did eventually come down, but it was after the one branch he was trying to tear off was too big for him to do so.

 

Now seriously, Kool Aid, ranting over a tree?  Yes.  I believe it's setting a pattern with children.  If you allow random destruction of property, be it a tree, a yard, a rock, where is the line drawn?  At what point do you teach your child that respect for a building or even a person is different than respecting something in nature?  Respect is respect, right?  Are we not called to be stewards of the earth?  I'm sure this rant could very easily go into a political/environmental debate about all things outdoors, but to me, the bottom line is teaching respect and responsibility.  

 

They were just having fun, Kool Aid.  Sure they were, they were having great fun.  But they were also risking hurting a smaller child that was walking underneath the tree.  

 

I love climbing trees.  I did it a lot as a young child, climbing an old oak tree in my yard several stories high (and scaring my poor mom all the time).  I did it in college.  There was a great magnolia on the lawn of the art school at my university that I climbed.  Luckily, I never got hurt, nor did anyone get hurt around me.  Monkey loves to climb trees, too, and while it worries me sometimes, I still let her do it if it's a good tree to climb.  I saw another child in a different, bigger tree, but he was just hanging out and part of me envied that.  

 

My point is this.  I try and teach Monkey to be respectful.  Not having respect for all things, in my mind, leads to things like vandalism, inconsiderate behavior, thinking only of oneself, hate, intolerance, destruction.  Yeah, it's a little thing, tearing branches off a tree, but if every day a child tore branches off that tree, soon there would be no branches on that tree.  No shade to offer parents or children to have a picnic under.  No place for a bird to build a nest.  And to get scientific for a brief second, one less tree to take in carbon dioxide and let off oxygen.

 

Call me a tree-hugger, that's fine.  I'm not going to go sit in a forest and cry out to dead trees, (and just on a side note, that video makes me almost ashamed to be from NC - almost) but I am going to teach my children that we are stewards of the earth, and while we do need to harvest trees, we also need to plant trees and protect national and state parks.  

 

I'm also going to teach them responsibility.  If they're rough-housing around other children, they need to be aware and responsible enough that another child won't get hurt.  

 

Now I'm off to take the kids to the mountains to "respect" the fall foliage.

 

Respect and responsibility.  What are you teaching your children?

The golden rule

My faith in humanity is somewhat restored.  Not because the bailout was voted out but because of something that happened in the car line yesterday.

  

I have a pet peeve.  Actually, I have several, but one of them is people cutting in front of me while driving.  I noticed it all the time in the mornings last year dropping Monkey off at school.  Some parent would be late for work, I'm guessing, so they're in such a hurry they feel they have the right to cut in line.  I don't mean just cutting in front of me when I let the person in front of them in, although that bothers me, too, but cutting through the staff parking lot to get towards the front of the line.  I mean, all the rest of us have to wait to meander through the line, what makes you so special that you can bypass all the other parents waiting in line?

 

Whenever that happened last year, I made a point to NOT let that person in if I happened to be near where they would be trying to get in line.  Unfortunately, at 7:20 am, there are people nicer than me that would let that better-than-thou parent through the line and their shortcut would then be justified because they made it through the line before everyone else.  We're all adults, here, right?  If you're running that late then maybe, just maybe, you should get up earlier.  Take some responsibility for your own actions and don't be late.

 

But I digress.  Yesterday, I got to Monkey's school a little earlier than usual for pickup.  I was the first to show up, so I park in the car line at a spot where I think the first car usually parks.  There was one car that parked right behind me right after and since that mom didn't give me the "why don't you pull ahead" look that people give at the station when you stop at the first pump instead of pulling right through, I figured I was ok.  I needed to pick up something from the office, so I grab Little Man and walk in.  I was inside for about five minutes and when I went back out, there were about 4 or 5 cars behind me and one in front of me.  Not farther in front, like they were parking to get something then leaving, but you could tell they passed the other cars, pulled in, then backed up to park in front of me.  The driver was still in the car, so I knew they were there for the pick up line.

 

I really don't care if I'm the first one or not.  I'm usually in the first 10-20 cars because I get there early enough to sit in the car and read for about 20-30 minutes before school lets out.  Yesterday's timing was a fluke.  But it bothered me to no end that someone had the gall to pass other parked cars to position himself as the first car.  However, I try and let it go and enjoy my quiet 30 minutes before dismissal (Little Man often naps in the car while we wait).

 

After a while, though, just a little before dismissal, he starts his car, drives to the end of the circle, parks and walks up to get his child.  Huh?  After all that work of parking at the head of the line, now you're walking up to get your kid?  I don't get it.  Oh, just so you know, dear reader, I don't leave my car running while waiting in the car line - another pet peeve of mine.  No matter how hot, I'll turn off the motor, roll the windows down and open a door.  So, I notice this dad walking towards my passenger side window.  He comes up to me and apologizes for parking in front of the line!  

 

Graciously, because I'm a good southern gal and all that, I tell him how nice that is and he really didn't have to and all that.  He says that he didn't know I was waiting in the car line (I wasn't in the car when he arrived, remember?) but when he saw me come out with Little Man and wait, he realized that he had cut the line and so wanted to apologize to me because he doesn't want to do things that would bother him if someone had done the same to him.  You know, that golden rule?

 

Really.  This truly happened.  A total stranger apologized for cutting me off.  Granted, we were in parked cars so it's not like we were passing through an intersection where there's no opportunity for apologies, but the fact that he took the time to apologize shattered some pre-conceived notions I had built about his character (he was driving a really big fancy SUV and  chatting away on his cell when I walked out of the school.  Yes, I'm guilty of stereotyping.  Who isn't?).

 

My faith in humanity is somewhat restored.  And it begs the question, when was the last time you took ownership of a wrong you committed, whether perceived or actual?  Is there something for which or someone to whom you need to apologize?  Is there someone or something you need to forgive?  We all do, don't we?  

 

Restore someone else's faith in humanity today.