Thursday, November 20, 2008

Seasons of life

An old friend called the other day.  Not one of these old friends but a real person kind of old friend.  Honestly, we hadn't talked in probably two years.  I'll call him Steve, but that's not his real name.  We worked together at a music store way back when I was in college.  We never dated or anything, we were just friends.  In fact, he, his roommate, my roommate and I went to Woodstock '94.  Now those were good times.  Hanging out in the mud and rain, listening to all different kinds of music...  but I digress.
 
My point this evening is that while talking with Steve, I realized that we are no longer in the same season.  Over the last two years or so, I would hear people talking about the "seasons of life".  Everyone goes through them at varying times.  I've been through several already.  Not counting High School (which is a season of seasons), I've survived probably three or four different ones.
 
Let's see, there's the Freshman in College Season.  Yes, this does deserve it's own season.  Think back to when you first started college, if you went to college.  All of a sudden you are on your own.  You have no one to answer to but yourself.  Some make it, some don't, some barely scoot by and some excel.  But either way, you go through that season.  I survived, fairly well if I remember correctly.
 
Then, for me, there's the party season.  Specifically raves.  Yes, I'm old school.  I admit it.  I was going to raves back when they were still in dark warehouses that had electricity pumped in for the weekend or even just the night.  Invitations were printed on tiny slips of paper or it would just be word of mouth.  I'd think nothing of getting off work at said record store at 9:30 or 10:00pm, drive two hours to get to a rave in another city and stay out all night long then turn around and drive back in time enough to open the store again at 1:00 Sunday afternoon.
 
That season lasted about a year or two.  Then there were the Dead shows.  Need I say more?  Actually, for a while there, those two seasons coexisted.  Come to think of it, College Life needs it's own season, period.
 
Back then I was young and dumb.  Crazy, even.  I wasn't a bad person, but hey, it was college.  I'll be able to relate to my daughter and son when they get older (God help me!).
 
Then there was the post-College pre-Marriage season.  Just trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  You know, the typical 20-something.  Trey and I were hanging out, traveling, working a lot but it was good, you know?
 
Then we got married.  Everything changed, but slowly at first.  We would still meet up with friends and hang out at restaurants with bars but nothing that would be considered "partying".  We still traveled and had fun.  Another season.
 
Then Monkey came along - ushering in the Parenting Season.  This, by far, has been the most challenging and rewarding season of all.
 
Steve is still in the post-College pre-Marriage season.  I talked about being a PTA mom, driving a mini-van and he laughed.  I'm guessing he still sees me as the raving hippie that I used to be.  He talked to me about his old roommate and going back to our college town for homecoming.  He told me about his current jobs and such.  He's been seeing someone for a while - you know, we chatted.  I talked about the kids and school, we talked movies and music and how much things have changed in the music sales industry since we were working together.  We talked for about 45 minutes about lots of things, actually, but when we were done, I realized how different I had become.  
 
Had being a mom really changed me that much?  Do I really have that little to offer someone outside my season?  Sure, I can relate very well with parents of children about 10 years and younger, but after that, what do I really have other than stories and experiences?  I'm sure they will come in handy one day- like when Monkey hits her teen years (AAAH!).
 
Seasons come and go; the wheel is turning and you can't slow down.  All we can do is move forward and look back fondly on our lives.  We all have our seasons.
 
So, what season are you in?

4 comments:

Julie said...

"Seaons"...what a beautiful way to describe it, Kool Aid. My word, stages, isn't nearly so pretty!

I think specifics like marriage, children are events that signal a transition to a new level of maturity. Maturity would happen anyway, whether or not we had those specific events. But, then again, sometimes we're thrust into circumstances that plop us right into the next season! So, hmm, this is beginning to look like the chicken/egg coming first question... ;)

Kool Aid said...

Excellent point! It is like the chicken/egg question. So, does marriage and children bring maturity or does maturity bring marriage and children? Do you have to be mature to be a parent?

Hmm... that might spark another post. Thanks!

Kate said...

I think I belong to your post-College pre-Marriage season except I definitely know what I want. The tricky part is how to get there.

I've yet to experience my different seasons. A couple of my older friends have shared to me the RAVE seasons and I'm so envious I never got to grow up in that generation. Same goes with the 70s. I think I would've dug the disco era with the Bee Gees and Abba and platform shoes.

Kool Aid said...

Hi Kate,
Funny you should mention disco! I remember being in a dance contest as a kid and we danced to something off of Saturday Night Fever! It was a riot!